How can I turn fights with my wife into healthy debates?
Take these tips into account, so you can improve your relationship: 1. Be honest with you. Unless you're a true radical close, you know when you've acted badly with her. Start by abiding by your responsibility. Getting rid of that old habit of "washing your hands" or looking for excuses will not only improve your relationship, change your world around you.
2. Take the baton. You know they already have a “pattern of fights”: she blames you, you her, they count each of the last 100 mistakes of each one, they scream, she cries, they threaten, they lose control… something tells you they have to change the strategy.
3. Start with your attitude. To let you know that you want to change the strategy, it is not necessary to say so. Acts are more powerful than words. The next time you "smell like a fight," sit quietly and try to be assertive: ask her to explain why she is upset and listen to her without interrupting. If the blood boils, hold on until it's over.